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Dating: A Man's Perspective On Finding Love

Dating: A Man's Perspective On Finding Love

Image Source: Stephan Stephancik

Image Source: Stephan Stephancik

A few months ago, we decided to take on dating questions and try a little experiment to find out why there are a considerable number of single, angry women and a lot of thirsty men amidst all available dating articles, which causes so much confusion all around. Why is everyone on “The Bachelor” or “The Bachelorette” successful and attractive, yet they can’t keep a mate? We ask various men and women questions on the topic of dating and relationships and the answers, surprisingly, were all the same. In this post, we decided to share one guy’s experience and his view on the topic. Read his thoughts below:

“As far as interactions go, I can’t really speak on the behalf of a whole gender, but I can speak for myself. I personally don’t agree with the notion of the “guy walking up first.” It sounds good, but that has literally never worked for me. Whenever I have tried to message or approached literally hundreds of women, not a single one made any effort in return, or would simply brush me off as if I was not human. It is the most defeating and dehumanizing feeling that I have ever experienced. The only time I have ever had a relationship (whether a girlfriend or made a lady friend), was the result of a woman approaching me first. I have changed so many things over my life to appease others but in the end, I realized that to devalue your beliefs and to live your life to satisfy others is a life not worth living.

“women can post a body picture on social and get a myriad of thirsty guys after them”

 

I don’t blame women. I think they are just a product of their environment. I also believe, the reason people have become so superficial is due to the advent of technology. With numerous dating apps, and ego boosting avenues like IG and FB, at any given time, women can post a body picture on social and get a myriad of thirsty guys after them. It is because of this that they become apathetic to men approaching them, extremely picky, and weed out men from afar, instead of giving them the time of day.”

Often, what men and women seek is honestly the same. Both genders have a standard of beauty and would like somebody equal to or more attractive than them. Both genders also want their potential partners to have something going for them (nobody likes a deadbeat).
However, despite what the media and the entire feminism agenda tells us, I think women usually want a guy who is more successful, and men usually prefer a girl who is less successful than he is. To prove this point, I know of two women who are multi-millionaires and can’t seem to get a single date, just because they achieved too much. This is tantamount to a man who is so concerned with being pretty that he wings his eyelashes and counters his face, so much so that he is no longer recognized as masculine and is a turn- off to the opposite sex. Another thing is that men typically want the girl that he is dating to be shorter than him, while women want the guy to be taller.

 Lastly, if women want men with confidence and a certain level of assertiveness, men want women to be compassionate and somewhat submissive. Today women are being told to act as both the man and woman due to media and feminism. I don’t think there is anything wrong with one or the other, but when you are trying to be both, you rob the “purpose” of the other gender, and when they have no purpose in the relationship why would they ever stick around? Most women are more secure in relationships. This is evident in the content of magazines that are specifically for a certain gender. All magazines for women have topics about relationships and nurturing their socio-emotional side. On the other hand, men’s magazines usually center on objects and hobbies (sports, tools, gaming, cars, etc.). Each sex is conditioned for certain traits growing up. So when the time comes for relationships, women have a monumental upper hand because they have read tons of Cosmopolitan, Vogue, Teen, etc.

“When the world’s influences are harming our relationship, do we have the strength within ourselves to walk away and re-build what we started?”

 A recent study that polled men and women and what traits each gender seeks in the other reveals that the men had like 3-4 requests while the women had about 33. I believe both men and women are conditioned to seek out the 10% of super attractive people in society, but it’s more prevalent for women. “Sex is literally the only thing that drives men to women. Just like women want a man for his resources of security. But to view it that way is a cynical perspective on life, and somewhere in there, we find other things.”

Our Conclusion:

Our ‘Q&A’, as well as our social dating experiment, has shown us first-hand hurt by both men and women. We can not argue nor can we deny that we all strive for, essentially, the same things when seeking a partner…which begins and is primarily based on appearance. Appearance is what draws us to one another, whether or not you are a man or a woman. In our search, it was rare if ever that one had any concern about “What will make a relationship last?” We all seek someone who will genuinely take the time to get to know us. Not for what he or she can gain materialistically or on the basis of our appearance, but just have a broad conversation on different topics and to value who we are on the inside. However, when the shoe is on the other foot, nobody could speak to doing the same for another. We need to start evaluating the dating situation and ask ourselves questions as to what makes two people a great team? Do we have sustainability when it’s just the two of us? When the world’s influences are harming our relationship, do we have the strength within ourselves to walk away and re-build what we started? Everyone we spoke to danced around the questions or ignored them altogether. No one ever mentioned finding someone with core values who match their personality. Yes, they mentioned similar traits or common interests and the #1 answer?? Appearance. Nobody cared or mentioned sustainability. Why? Because no one truly cares. Everyone likes the idea of a relationship, friends with benefits or purgatory dating but no one wants to face the reality of looking at the bigger picture.

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**Names are kept anonymous in this article for privacy**

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